The DVD Incident Part 3
I have stared at the DVD case every night. I have dreaded coming home. Knowing it is waiting for me.
Staring at me.
The DVD represents weird and unwelcome social interaction. It is potent. It has a terrible power over me.
I fear it.
‘Have you watched it yet?’ Asks Makepeace. I mumble. I am a rational man. I can’t admit that I fear the DVD.
What if I do watch it?
I’ll be accepting the Weird. Welcoming it. BECOMING IT. I shall become a Sci-Fi person. I shall cling to strangers in pubs in an embarrassing manner. I shall accept this odd man and become his Friend. I will be ONE OF THEM. I shall purchase miniature lead figures of wizards from places called something like GAMESWORKSHOP that smell of feet and cheap deodorant.
The very sight of the DVD case begins to make me feel ill.
I hide it. From myself.
I actually put it under a cushion.
Makepeace: Em. That bloke was asking after his DVD. He seemed a bit cross. It’s been half a year.
I feel like someone has punched a hole in my stomach.
The moment of crisis has arrived.
I have to give it back. But on the off-chance that I ever see this man again, I shall have to watch it.
Which will be voluntarily accepting his offer of membership into the Theatre Of Odd.
He’s got me on the ropes. I’ve got nowhere to go. I can’t give it back without even watching it. It’s too damning. It would be essentially telling him how thoroughly worthless his existence is. But I CAN’T watch it. Because it would be to accept that random over-familiar social situations with odd people are actually OK. The act of watching it will be succumbing to him. He now has power over me. I am genuinely afraid.
Five minutes ago.
I read the plot synopsis on IMDB.
Ha. I am victorious. If I ever see him again, I can discuss the film with him. With some authority. And he WON’T KNOW I NEVER EVEN WATCHED IT!
For the first time in six months, I sleep easily.
I could do with a decent crisis now. Something to get my teeth into.