The latter are much more fun. I believe I’ve mentioned Insane Client before now. I shall call her ‘Carol’ for the moment. I am a fastidious note-maker. The following is – tragically – verbatim from my notes of genuine conversations with her:
Outgoing Telephone Call 06/08/2010 11:24 Comments: Re-book. Briefly considered changing the mobile phone number in her advert AGAIN but decided against.
Outgoing Telephone Call 04/08/2010 11:34 Comments: Carol has again called - wanting to change 'pets allowed' to 'pets welcome'. (?) Done.
Outgoing Telephone 03/08/2010 16:40 Comments: Carol called to change the mobile number in the advert once again. Claimed the old one was 'attracting the wrong sort of people'. Amazing.
Outgoing Telephone Call 30/07/2010 10:52 Comments: Booked for another week, good as gold.
Outgoing Telephone Call 23/07/2010 11:45 Comments: Re-book for next week.
Outgoing Telephone Call 20/07/2010 10:22 Comments: Checking adverts - all is well.
Outgoing Telephone Call 15/07/2010 14:02 Comments: Copy amend and rebook for next week.
Outgoing Telephone Call 09/07/2010 11:18 Comments: Wants a call on Monday - waiting to see if a booking comes in.
Outgoing Telephone Call 05/07/2010 12:30 Comments: Got hold of Carol after she slammed the phone down on Thug Colleague. Changing mobile number in advert once more - this time due to an 'irate holiday maker' smashing her windscreen during the weekend. Booked for the week.
Outgoing Telephone Call 21/06/2010 11:18 Comments: Booked for another week. New mobile number again.
Outgoing Telephone Call 11:50 Comments: Bit hassled, will call me back on Monday morning.
Outgoing Telephone Call 15/06/2010 14:21 Comments: Reassured Carol once again that we are definately getting the payments through and that I will call her to re-book her advertisements.
Outgoing Telephone Call 15/06/2010 14:15 Comments: Carol called to check that she has paid for her adverts on her pre-paid account - money still hasn't gone from the bank apparently. Assured her I would double-check all is well at our end. She seemed happy with this and went to feed her cats.
Outgoing Telephone Call 10/06/2010 16:05 Comments: Carol is puzzled that this weeks’ payment does not seem to have been deducted from her card. Feels that 'someone' is 'playing' with her. Assured me that she wasn't 'accusing' me 'of anything'. Sending her recent statements.
Outgoing Telephone Call 09:41 Comments: Carol phoned to check the status of her advert. Seemed satisfied that it's the same as it was when she called 15 minutes ago.
Outgoing Telephone Call 10/06/2010 09:30 Comments: Carol called in to change her telephone number yet again - claims the entire T-Mobile network is down.
Outgoing Telephone Call 04/06/2010 13:17 Comments: Driving on the A1 - wants a call later.
Outgoing Telephone Call 25/05/2010 09:07 Comments: Carol rang in to change her mobile number in the advert yet again.
Outgoing Telephone Call 21/05/2010 11:00 Comments: Rebook. New mobile number. Again. Much anguish regarding 'the news' and the continuing Alnwick cat poisonings. Genuis.
Outgoing Telephone Call Interested 17/05/2010 11:26 Comments: In the doctors - call her later.
Outgoing Telephone Call 14/05/2010 14:39 Comments: She'll get back to me.
Outgoing Telephone Call 07/05/2010 13:58 Comments: Re-book for week.
Outgoing Telephone Call Interested 29/04/2010 15:02 Comments: Carol has excelled herself with tales of rabid dogs, cat-poisoners and the fact that she's having to change the mobile number in her advert yet again because the old one is attracting 'disableds'. Brilliant. Re-book for the week.
If I worked for a mobile-phone company I would be able to retire by now.