Wednesday, July 25, 2007


The cashpoint asks me if I want to top-up the credit on my pre-pay pikey mobile fucking phone.

This is odd. I wanted some cash. Hence my frequenting said cashpoint.
But. Well, yes. I would actually. Thanks. This has saved me a visit to some News Agent Emporium where I will have to suffer old women stinking of piss purchasing unfeasible amounts of National Lottery scratch-cards and teenage girls sniggering at me.


I choose my network and tap in my mobile fucking phone number. Twice.

Thanks, says the screen. You’ll get a text in a minute confirming this marvellously futuristic transaction.


Two hours later. No text.

Three hours later. No text. No credit.


I phone the customer services people of my mobile fucking phone’s network provider. Who will not speak to me, as I have no credit.

After much keypad-tapping, I discover the mobile fucking phone has an overdraft of sorts. Which I cannot activate. Because I don’t have enough credit.


I check the receipt-thing the cashpoint had given me.

If you’re reading this, I hope you appreciate the fact that I have managed to gift you with talk-time to the tune of ten English pounds.

I hope you applaud the stupidity of a man who typed in an incorrect phone number not once but twice, making the identical mistake each time (what are the odds?).

I hope you have some good mobile fucking phone conversations. I hope you have a good life, and that similar good things will continue to happen to you, despite the fact that you have yet to reply to the voicemails of an irate stranger insisting that you owe him ten pounds and what are you going to fucking do about it.


Blogger thinkpink said...

Oh god, and you did it without any help from alcohol.

10:27 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Had I been drinking I probably wouldn't have got it wrong THE EXACT SAME WAY twice.

10:50 am  
Anonymous Eliza said...

ahahahahahaha- MUPPETT!

10:59 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Yeah. Thanks.

12:03 pm  
Blogger Peach said...


1:46 pm  
Blogger me said...

think of it as your good deed for the day ... you made someone happy! (and the rest of us just giggled)

3:12 pm  
Blogger DJ Kirkby said...

You really do amaze the most rib 'pinging' way!
*wipes tears of laughter from cheeks*
Come visit mine as I am giving you an award on my post tomorrow.

6:31 pm  
Blogger Chopski said...

Funny! I once ranted at my son when I phoned him and was directed to his voicemail. Unfortunately I had dialed the wrong number as the lady who owned the phone kindly pointed out when she rang me back!

6:42 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Peach: Never mind 'oops'. TEN BLOODY POUNDS!

Me: Fuck making people happy. They are not me. Why should they be fucking happy and all chatty with their imbecile mates at my expense?

Yeah giggle it up giggle people - for all I know one of you is in debt to me. Don't make me come get you.

DJ: Anticipation.

Chopski: It's a minefield. Upon receipt of my new phone, I put my sister's number into the phonebook with one digit out of place. I apologise to the complete stanger who was randomly informed that she smelt of sardines at three in the morning.

8:17 pm  
Blogger Clarissa said...

That was you?!!!!

10:05 pm  
Blogger Dandelion said...

Could be worse, could have been a pony. Or a monkey.

12:12 am  
Blogger her indoors said...

wondered where my son had got the money to credit his phone!
what i want to know now is will you be using this service again LOL,
hi by the way came over from DJ kirkbys blog

6:48 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...


Dandelion: I don't know what either of those things are.

Her Indoors: Hi yourself. And no I won't.

8:48 am  
Anonymous Kaija said...

Doh! Technology is a wonderful thing...makes it easy to do everyday things AND makes it easy to do everyday things wrong. *sigh* Consider the fact that this has given your karma a boost and taken down the recepient of your largesse for his failure to mend the mistake. :)

1:17 pm  
Blogger Clarissa said...

Give me your address. I'll put 10 quid in the post.

8:35 pm  
Blogger Mr Farty said...

Give me your bank details. And password. I'll just "check your account".

9:07 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pass it forward guv.

10:18 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Kaija: Hello and welcome. Bugger Karma - I doubt the Cosmos is too worried about where to allocate the good of my tenner when it's still tied up with the irony of junky millionaire Lennon. Leave it alone.

Clarissa: Glad you've seen the light. Nothing more terrifying on your doorstep than a small Northerner being a bit sarcy. You've gotten off lightly.

Farty: Ok. In return, what is your mother's maiden name? Fair's fair.

Anon: 'Guv' indeed. And it's a shit film.

10:40 pm  
Blogger mr_glide said...

Haha, you fool. I mean that in most compassionate and sympathetic way possible, of course.

7:03 pm  
Blogger Misssy M said...

Just tell yourself that the credit went to someone who might have really needed it in an emergency sitauation.

And not some city wanker who used it to make heaps of money in sharedealings.

Just tell yourself that.

10:57 pm  
Blogger Honey said...

enjoyed the post, but just had to question the 'pass it forward' (i did not mind the film but fell of my chair at the appalling 'santa claus is coming coca cola ending)
so how do you pass forward giving someone else 10 quid? Surely it's for them to do, does Mr Dad pass forward his resentment? Does he steal 10 quid from someone who deserves it least like say a nun or something? I'm intrigued. Sorry Mr Dad for hijacking your comments.

5:03 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

M_G: Yeah. Whatever.

Missy: Or some frightful 'yoot' talking 'street' to his equally frightful 'crew'.

Honey: Hijack away.

5:48 pm  
Blogger Clarissa said...

I dunno. Are you cute?

2:17 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Blimey. Does the Mista approve of this sort of thing?

4:04 pm  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

I have a contract that says I pay £18. That's it. £18. For that I get £200 of calls/texts whatever. My daughter uses most of it and the union give me £30 a month as well.

I like being a smug git. Don't get much chance as a rule....

7:56 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

WHAT?! Right. I'm not having this.

9:43 pm  
Blogger Shell said...

i've done that repeat catastrophe thing with bank cards ... wonderfully described, TD!

11:08 am  

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