Sunday, May 13, 2007

Jumping the Shark

Appalling Blog Cliches#2

The worst is the My Blog is Now One Year Old and Here is What I Have Learnt Post. To be followed closely by the I Have Just Received My One-Thousandth Hit and am Dead Chuffed Post.

To avoid this, I am doing my One-Year-Learnt thing late. Ha-ha.

I have learnt that:

Being as rude as you please to people you believe to deserve it is almost as pleasurable as it is in real life. But not quite. And then they turn out to be very gentlemanly and ruin it all.

Lots of nice ladies will send you emails saying nice things.

One of those nice ladies will bully you so much you feel compelled to get a bit drunk with them. In person and that. And eat in an average but nonetheless perfectly pleasant restaurant with them. And suffer being repeatedly referred to as a ‘cunt’. And rather enjoy yourself for the first time in ages.

Somebody will thank you for giving them a much-needed kick up the arse and say that their marriage is now back on track.

Somebody else will thank you for other reasons that are far too personal to mention here, but will say that your words prompted him to talk to his family about something that bothered him all his life. You will feel simultaneously brilliant and shit.

A number of people will say ‘Hey, this is quite good’.

A number of people will say ‘Hey, this is very shit’. (They are often the most entertaining. Lots of people get cross and it goes on for ages. It’s brilliant)

You will correspond with Americans. And Canadians.

You will be quite obsessed about your ‘stats’ for two months and then forget to check them. Ever. Unless you are a twat.

You will enjoy the contents of your ‘comments’ more than you enjoy writing your shit blog.

Rather dubious-sounding insurance companies will offer to advertise on your shit blog in return for foolish amounts of money. You will decline because you are not a ‘cunt’.

People will request that you put ‘links’ to their shit blog on your own shit blog. You may or may not decline, for reasons best known to yourself.

You find yourself with not much to say for yourself.

Oh. And it’s actually quite good fun. And you’ll kid yourself that you’ll get a Real Writing Job like Mil Millington or Charlie Brooker or the Playground guy. But you won’t.

It doesn’t matter. Because it’s Quite Good.


Sorry. I know. I'll delete it.

18 Comments:

Blogger Clarissa said...

Don't you dare!

And bless the bullying ladies! Good on them for having the balls.

8:34 pm  
Blogger d34dpuppy said...

there all quite good u no so leave m there

8:51 pm  
Blogger Jen said...

"You will enjoy the contents of your ‘comments’ more than you enjoy writing your shit blog."

Yeah, you got me on that one.

People never call me particularly offensive names though. I really must try harder.

9:30 pm  
Anonymous Femme (Fontanelle) said...

About You: Don't delete that post - it's the best "One year on" post I have read. It's funny and it's relevant and it will make at least two of your readers flush with pleasure that they got a "name check"!

About Me: I'm thrilled to announce my new address (blogger's still a nice neighbourhood and everything, I just needed more of a garden.)-

femmefontanelle.wordpress.com

1:08 am  
Anonymous mr_glide said...

Slowly being sucked into the mindset of the bloggers you once opposed? God bless you and all your kith and kin.

I'm kidding. Enjoy it. You run one of the most readable blogs out there. Some might even tag it as 'good'.

10:26 am  
Blogger bobbins said...

LOL, Mil Millington's crap compared to you. Happy Clicheday :-)

12:06 pm  
Blogger Lee said...

Oh my. How embarassing this must be for you.

4:13 pm  
Blogger d34dpuppy said...

mabe i will has 2 come n annoy u move then

8:22 pm  
Blogger Misssymartin said...

You forgot one: you will suddenly be paranoid that the nasty things you wrote about someone will be read by that someone. Then you will realise that nobody reads your shit blog anyway, so you might as well throw caution to the wind.

Thanks for not reading or linking to my shit blog. But you ARE quite good...

9:42 pm  
Anonymous monkeymother said...

Excellent. As always. And as for getting drunk and that .... I always blame the parents.

6:02 am  
Blogger me said...

Quite Good Fun; what more can one ask for. Am pleased for you. oh, and Happy Blog Birthday, too.

I am going thro' the obsessive stat-checking stage. aaahh. gruesome. only a week or so to go and i can forget all about them. phew.

9:42 am  
Blogger Eliza said...

hello. that is all.

3:52 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Clarissa: I'm thinking about it.

Pup: Thanks.

Jen: It's suprisingly easy.

M_G: Yeah. It's called 'Jumping the Shark' so I've pre-empted your entirely justifieble comment. Oh, and thanks.

bobbins: I think he's alright. And thank you.

lee: Yeah.

Pup: Seriously. What?

Missy: How do you know I've not been reading? It's not like I have a static IP address. (No, I don't know either)

MM: Indeed.

me: You'll be glad when it's over.

8:46 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Oh. And hello yourself Eliza.

8:47 pm  
Blogger tea and cake said...

Thank you. I never thought that when I have been blogging for one year that I would write such a thing.

Maybe not though, eh?

(Great, readable and funny blog btw.)

cheers, :o)

10:47 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Thank you.

4:59 pm  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

No,sorry. It's still shit.

4:12 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Fuck right off. Go on.

I love you.

10:15 pm  

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