Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I Do Something Breath-Takingly Foolish. Just To Break Things Up A Bit.

 LAST SATURDAY. I awake, already heavy-of-heart that I shall have to return to my now-hated job come Monday. I make some tea, go out and buy the papers and eat some scrambled eggs.
“Actually, I’m not going back on Monday.” I think to myself.

 “Or ever.” It’s not a dramatic moment, more like a massive mental shrug. Sort of like that bloke in the film Office Space.
“I don’t really enjoy it so I’m not doing it any more.” He says. I can’t be bothered to look-up the actor’s name. But it’s like that.

I feel so much better at the very THOUGHT that I know there is no other option.

I turn on my fifteen-year old laptop and apply for about six jobs. “It’ll be fine.” I think. Because I am MINT. I will have a job offer by the end of the week. THAT IS MY TARGET. BECAUSE I AM AWESOME AND THAT IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
I actually think that to myself.

LAST SUNDAY. I make a full roast chicken dinner, with Yorkshire puddings, stuffing and everything. Because I am totally unconcerned. The ex-Mrs. Tired phones. I inform her of my rash decision to Just Not Work Anymore. The expected tirade regarding our children and my ability to be a proper father to them with no money does not arrive. “Oh thank God.” She says. Because I am either AWESOME or MINT. Probably. I don’t know.

LAST MONDAY. I have two interviews scheduled. Not bad. The other four will be in touch soon, I imagine. If nothing works out I can spend a week getting some decently-paid freelance writing work and it will all be fine. Because I am MINT. Or AWESOME. Current employer shows no interest in my absence.

LAST TUESDAY. The other four have NOT been in touch. I potter about the house, clean some stuff and do not go mad. I’m actually a bit worried though. Generally. I’ll never get freelance work. Not regular freelance writing work in one week flat. That would be absurd. Even if I’m MINT. Or AWESOME.  I’ll die alone. That’s what will happen. I’ve not even ‘pitched’ or whatever you call it. I’m not even sure I know what that means.
There’s a possibility I may not be mint. Or awesome.

LAST WEDNESDAY. Interview at agency for job #1. Fine. Phone call later – I’m meeting the actual company on Thursday. No word from the other job I’ve had a silly phone interview for. I am no longer sure exactly how MINT I am. I’m starting to sweat a bit, to be honest.

In actual fact I AM going a bit mad. I’ve effectively quit a steady job with nothing set-up in advance in the middle of the world’s worst recession EVER and am now flailing in a job ‘market’ that does not really exist. I will shortly have no means by which I can travel to see my own children or, indeed, feed myself and will be reduced to noshing-off sailors in Teeside for food money.

I am not fond of Teeside. Or, to be honest, noshing-off sailors.
Their Mother phones. I am insanely up-beat in the manner of somebody on the edge of ‘losing their shit’. Oddly, she is hugely supportive and sends me a text informing me that all will be well. Weird.
LAST THURSDAY. Another interview, this time with a real person who is in the position of actually offering me employment. In THE REAL WORLD and everything.

It’s horrendous. However, I’ve took the precaution of discovering that I actually know two people who work there, phoning them in advance and asking them to tell some lies and assure everyone that I am indeed MINT. And probably AWESOME.

Interview Bloke puts me through the most difficult interview I’ve sat through EVER but redeems himself in my eyes by offering me the job on the spot.

I briefly consider the 50% increase to basic salary and the considerable increase to bonus potential already and accept.
There is some hand-shaking.
LAST FRIDAY. “Good news!” Says the bloke from the agency about the other job. “They’re totally interested!”
They would be. I am both MINT and AWESOME.

That interview’s next week.

And the other four who never got back to me can fuck right off.


Blogger Shackleford Hurtmore said...

Congratulations. I've never met you, but I'm sitting here at my desk in New Zealand, and feeling really pleased for you. You ARE mint and awesome.

1:25 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...


2:09 am  
Anonymous pete_at_raspberry said...

Well done Tired! Clearly you are indeed mint and awesome, and long overdue to make a move like this.
Looking forward to the new cast of office characters already.
And best of luck with the new job.

9:44 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely amazing, well done. I can't think of a harder time since Mrs T was in power to do such a thing. I'm delighted for you pulling it off, and glad that the "it" isn't a seaman, in Teeside or anywhere else.

I'm off to a posh pub in rural Lancashire this afternoon. I'll raise a silent glass in a (London? is it?) direction.

1:10 pm  
Anonymous Rachel_Eating Raoul said...

(Thankfully not in the noshing-off sense).

Well there you go! Has your old job noticed yet? You could be dead in a ditch for all they know. Well, dead in the bath, maybe. After an unrealistic but potentially possible electrical incident involving knocking yourself out on the taps, dropping something into the water, then zizzing.

Hope you get offered the other one too, then we can read about your decision process.

2:20 pm  
Blogger Ellie said...

Mint is only good if you are also chocolatey.

4:20 pm  
Blogger sb said...

You know those videos of near misses, where someone nearly gets run over by a train, but skips out of the way at the last minute, leaving a single shoe behind?

... Is that what "mint" means?

Well done. I have no idea how you (or how anyone would have, in the current climate) managed it.

8:22 pm  
Blogger Furtheron said...

I doff my cap to your incredible courage.

I don't like my job - I don't hate it... I struggle with it as it isn't easy - then that is why they pay me quiet well probably... and I beat myself up continually for being bad at it which is dumb... But I don't have the courage to walk away and do something else.

Well done - hope it continues to go well.

10:04 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Pete: Hello again and many thanks. Some of the 'new' colleagues will already be vaguely familiar...

loob: Thanks. I was pretty worried for a while there. And no, I'm nowhere near London thank Christ.

Rachel: We'll see. And no, previous employ seem fairly unconcerned - another reason why I shouldn't be there I suppose.

Ellie: Sadly, I am not.

sb: Yeah, kind of. And in all honesty I don't either and the phone is STILL ringing.

Furtheron: It was walk away or accept that I'd never make the move and spend another couple of years grumbling. I don't think it was courageous, just foolish and I'm very fortunate it worked-out ok.

12:46 pm  
Blogger Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

Well done Tired.

I'm envious of your courage. I've wnated to do the same quite a few times before, but always backed off.

Glad it worked out, and with a better package as well.

7:28 pm  
Anonymous monkeymother said...

Bloody hell. That was a bit nerve-wracking.

But now I'm a bit worried you might cheer up.

p.s. well done.

8:23 am  
Blogger Dave Shelton said...

Congratulations, mister. This is very pleasing news.

And it's a testament to your writing that there's so many of us here caring without ever having met you. So I guess you must be a bit awesome and mint.

8:53 am  
Blogger Alison Cross said...

Proof that you are MINT and AWESOME. Well done, I hope that it's FABLAS at the new place.

We, of course, the blog-pack, look forward to learning about the new people in your workplace.


10:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


4:12 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

TSB: I've no advice to give - this could easily have had a very unhappy ending.

mm: Thanks! Oh, I doubt I'll cheer-up, worry not. I'll just find new things to be unhappy about.

Dave: Thank you. I don't know why people are bothered, to be honest. Bit weird isn't it?

Oh God, this is starting to get a bit cloying, isn't it?

Ali: Thanks. I expect it'll be a job like any other but we'll see. At least it's not the one I had.

Suze: Hello, whoever you are. Many thanks.

4:32 am  
Blogger Plummy Mummy said...

Good to hear. Glad not everyone is struggling to get hope to those of us that are.
Good luck with it all. Can't wait to hear about it.

8:09 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Plummy: Hello and thanks. Like I say, two-thirds luck if that's any consolation.

12:34 pm  
Anonymous Em said...

Congratulations! You are indeed AWESOME. I have no idea what MINT means but it sounds GOOD.
Brave move - so pleased it worked out for you.

10:38 pm  
Anonymous Anna said...

I've been following you for a while but (I think) this is my first comment. Congratulations! This is fantastic, you've now inspired me to make a change in my life for the better.

5:37 pm  
Blogger Sewmouse said...

Congratulations on the new grindstone!

I don't like mint. Can't you be strawberry instead?

3:00 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Em: Thank you. It could still turn-out to be a really bad idea...

Anna: Oh God don't hold me responsible for anything. Christ. And thanks for saying 'hello'.

Sew: I can be whatever you like. (That's what I said in the interview as well.)

6:05 pm  
Blogger amphimacer said...

I have been at the same job for twenty years, Tired, and I'm ready to call it quits. Your awesome mintiness encourages all of us. We shall all be awesome! (But yes, you were awesome first.)

9:49 pm  
Blogger Liza said...

I just feel sorry for those Teeside sailors who now have to put up with a mediocre noshing off.

(Well done though! x)

10:33 am  
Blogger James said...

Will you please post a link to your Blog at The Fatherhood Community? Our members will appreciate it and as the father of 3 teenage boys, I will too.
Members include: Fathers, Dads, Daddies, Fatherhood Lovers, Experts and Fans.
It's easy to do, just cut and paste the link and it automatically links back to your website. You can also share Photos, Videos and Articles if you like.
Email me if you need any help or would like me to do it for you.
Please feel free to share as often and as much as you like.
The Fatherhood Community:
I hope you consider sharing with us.
Thank you,
James Kaufman, Editor

4:24 pm  
Anonymous sewa mobil jakarta said...

Nice article, thanks for the information.

5:30 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Amph & Liza: So sorry, I've been a bit self-involved of late but many thanks for your comments.

9:52 pm  

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