Stories.
There are an awful lot of plasma-screens in my new office. I
squint at them.
New Boss: Do you need glasses?
I tell him a story.
Me: I tore the corneas of both my eyes.
NB: Jesus!
Me: I know.
NB: What happened?
Me: I wore contact lenses for years, but my eyes are a funny
shape. ‘Pointy’, according to my optician. Don’t know how many years he spent
at Optician School to come up with that diagnosis…
I wait for the expected snort. I’ve told this story a
hundred times.
NB: *snort*
Me: So I couldn’t wear the soft ones. Too big, they’d just
fall out because of my ‘pointy eyes’ [I make the ‘inverted commas’ gesture with
my fingers] So I had to wear the gas permeable ones. They’re really small. And
they’re like glass. I wore the same pair for eight years. My eyes changed
shape, the contact lenses didn’t and my eyes got all fucked-up.
NB: Fuck mate. Sorry.
Me: *shrug*
It’s a true story. What I never mention is that it was years
ago and my eyes healed without any trouble and that I could very easily wear
lenses or glasses now but can’t be bothered. I can see two foot in front of me
– beyond that I really don’t care what’s happening anyway.
But that wouldn’t be such a good story. Stories are
important things. And words are powerful things.
And besides – it’s just a small story.
Like this one.
posted by Tired Dad at
3:06 am
13 Comments:
Small can be good, especially when you've been kept waiting ;-)
I was in a state of panic whilst reading most of that blog seeing as my other half also has strange shaped eyes and has to wear gas-permeable lenses!!
His optician described them as 'rugby-ball' shaped. As you say - how many years at optician school for that?!
Anyway, glad to hear that you were FINE and that I needn't expect torn corneas here any time soon :-D
Hope you're enjoying new job!
Ali x
I completely with the comment above. It needed to be said and I trust you'll take that on board TD.
We must have had the same shape eyes. I was told mine were 'steep' (not pointy); but the net-net was the same: I was stuck with gas permeable, and they were an pair of uncomfortable bitches.
If God had wanted us to wear contacts, he wouldn't have created Benjamin Franklin.
Good words TD x
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Gordon Bennett! Some of these comments are as bad as the handwritten junk mail to Daniel from your previous post.
P.S. I detest people making the inverted commas gesture with their fingers, particularly when they are in any case changing their voice to emphasis a quotation. It is a redundant and uncouth gesture.
have you topped yourself?
I know quality is more important than quantity, and all that, but WHERE ARE YOU?
I get anxious, you know.
Yeah, where are you? Hope you're OK.
I've been away - clearly so have you. Come back Tired, it's all gone a bit too pink and pleasant here without you. J
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