Thursday, September 29, 2016

Ahh Work ‘Friend’.

It started fairly innocuously. After a mere six weeks at my new job I am promoted and become the manager of my new colleagues. This causes some consternation amongst some, many of whom have worked at the company for years. Stuff them. Empathy is not one of my ‘big things’. My counterpart in another department is also bumped-up. After a couple of weeks he feels we should go for drinks after work and ‘discuss things’.

For the first hour or so things are fine. We discuss work like normal people. And then things get a bit ‘not my area’.

Counterpart: I’m so committed to this company. That’s why I’m staying here. My wife is moving away you see. For her work. Taking our daughter with her. For her job. She’s doing really well.

Me: [Unsure of how we got here] Oh. Mmm.

Counterpart: I’m not worried. They’re my life. I know she’ll be loyal.

Me: Ok.

Counterpart: [Showing me pictures of his daughter on his phone] It’s all for her.

Me: Totally. [I glance at a photo of him and his daughter looking happy] Erm. Are you sure you’re making the right decision? I’m quite a stubborn man myself and looking back on some things…

Counterpart: I know she’ll be loyal. She isn’t ‘that sort of person’.

Poor bastard I think to myself.

Me: Right.

Counterpart: We had another baby you know. Before. He didn’t make it.

Oh for fuck’s SAKE I think to myself.

Counterpart: He lived a month and a half. We named him.

He tells me the name. He shows me pictures on his phone. The child is full of tubes. He looks like a fucking cyborg I think to myself.

Me: Mmmm.

Jesus Christ, I think myself. I just fancied a drink. I didn’t know I’d have to deal with some 'dead kid and impending marriage break-up' nonsense.

Counterpart: We haven’t slept together in two years though but it’s not that sort of relationship.

Oh for God's sake I think to myself.

Me: Anyway my bus is in ten minutes so…

Counterpart: Oh mine too! We get the same one!

Me: [unaware of this] Splendid.

He tries to hug me when he reaches his stop. We settle on a firm handshake


Anonymous Knackered Dad said...

Well, of course, you're fucked now. He's latched on to you for good (do you look remotely like Marje Proops by any chance?) So, new job it is then...

8:31 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not to worry. He'll gall to pieces when his wife turns up pregnant by another man in her new town, have a nervous breakdown and be summarily dismissed on the spot.

An American Ghost

12:56 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

KD: Fortunately for me I have a built-in ability to alienate anyone who gets anywhere near me so it's only a matter of time.

AAG: Oh hi again. Pretty sure sure you're right. Poor bastard.

9:48 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And so I let the weeks go by, only talking to cashiers and waiters. Eventually, I find I've become the weird and needy one. You can't win.


2:18 am  
Blogger Z said...

Congrats on the promotion.

11:48 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Jen: Oh good lord I've done that.

Z: It was ages ago but thank you.

4:16 am  

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