Don't try this at home
Bloody birds. How they can sound so cheerful at this hour of the day is beyond me.
As a child, I decided that the only way to know for sure was to conduct an experiment. There was something troubling me about my Lego-men. Not the fact that their entire head would come off when you tried to remove their space-helmets - although that was tiresome and probably quite inconvenient for them - but something else.
I retrieve a long length of thread from the old biscuit tin that served as my mam's sewing box, and tie one end securely around space Lego-man's head. And wait.
When the time comes, I retire to the bathroom and perform some rather lengthy ablutions. Before leaving, I drop Lego-man into the Bog of Eternal Stench and, keeping hold of one end of the thread, flush.
The thread spools out in a pleasing Jaws - type manner, and I wait for the foam to settle.
Slowly, carefully, I pull him back out. I dangle him in front of me without touching him. I am astonished.
The little FUCKER is still BLOODY SMILING.
..........................................................................
Next: Mentals.
As a child, I decided that the only way to know for sure was to conduct an experiment. There was something troubling me about my Lego-men. Not the fact that their entire head would come off when you tried to remove their space-helmets - although that was tiresome and probably quite inconvenient for them - but something else.
I retrieve a long length of thread from the old biscuit tin that served as my mam's sewing box, and tie one end securely around space Lego-man's head. And wait.
When the time comes, I retire to the bathroom and perform some rather lengthy ablutions. Before leaving, I drop Lego-man into the Bog of Eternal Stench and, keeping hold of one end of the thread, flush.
The thread spools out in a pleasing Jaws - type manner, and I wait for the foam to settle.
Slowly, carefully, I pull him back out. I dangle him in front of me without touching him. I am astonished.
The little FUCKER is still BLOODY SMILING.
..........................................................................
Next: Mentals.
posted by Tired Dad at
5:23 am
4 Comments:
Not entirely.
Did no-one get my reference to appalling '80's child-friendly fantasy film Labyrinth? With David Bowie? Bet he felt a prick after that one. Or not. When you've bought Switzerland I doubt you get embarrassed about anything much.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hell's teeth. Despite the wealth of documentary evidence to the contrary, I'd think you were my other half, who had created a fake persona to spy on me.
General belief around here also that Chunk rules. However, would have to argue about Never Ending - didn't see the other ones but hate them by default. It was meant to never - end in your imagination surely?? Not in the money-grabber sequel-hungry pockets? I am 32. Should I get over this this? And is it possible to watch Labyrinth as an adult without commenting - favourably or otherwise - on Bowies 'packet'?
Oh, and thanks for the link. Not sure what to do about that, or about my place in general. Whilst mulling it over, I hope you don't think me rude. Or a cad - I liked that, but it seems to have gone??
1:45 AM
I haven't. Never really understood the appeal of the joly green giant. And the CGI looked shite.
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