Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Is Shit the New Good?

I am In The Pub. Frankly, wishing I were elsewhere. My experience started thus:

Slothful Barman: [After chatting to his mates in the corner for a couple of minutes and then ambling in my direction like it was some sort of chore] Whatcha after?

What am I after? What is my desire? How about an afternoon in a locked Hilton room with all the members of Girls Aloud (except the ginger one) and a big pile of coke?

Or an assurance that my children will always see me as ‘Dad’ and never the hugely fallible ‘man’ I actually am? (Although I fear that ship has already sailed.)

Failing that how about a Travelodge with Holly Willoughby?

Failing all of that, how about a fucking drink?

I obtain my drink and find myself a quiet table. Somebody puts a song on the jukebox.

It’s quite good. Interesting guitar riff, not ripped-off from anyone. Lyrics concerning the essential emptiness of modern icons. And how they are merely useless tools of capitalilism. The essentially empty nature of advertising and commercialism.

Who is this radical band, you would think. The Manics? The Whoever Else Who Is A Bit Gobby?

Genesis. Phil Collins. Genesis.

I finish my drink and leave.

Later that evening I listen to the debut album of Del Amitri and am stunned by the level of insight that would not even see the light of day today. It is a Shit Record. But it is Very Good.

I physically prevent myself from listening to my old Lloyd Cole and the Commotions records. Because they are properly shit. But also very good compared to the output of, I don’t know, Pete Doh- no. Forget it. Too easy.


Tired Mam: Was he up for long last night?

It is a sensible question regarding the well-being of Favourite Son. Unfortunately, I have no idea what she is talking about. I decide to front it.

Me: Em. Not long.

TM: Oh good.

It seems that Favourite Son suffered some unrest during the night. And that I resolved it. Without fully Waking Up myself. Or remembering. Because I was sleeping.

Does this mean I am Shit? As a Father? Or so Good I can actually resolve things without even being fully awake?

And is Shit the new Good?


Blogger amphimacer said...

Having come of age, musically, in the sixties (I didn't start drinking until the seventies, when I turned seventeen), I am amazed when I listen to those oldies stations; the amount of stuff I listened to then that was just plain awful is stunning. As to the seventies, the same goes without saying, and yes, it has been getting worse ever since. The only sense in which there was ever a golden age is the sense in which we were too young to have any taste. My own FD loved Boy George and Culture Club when she first heard them yodel, or whatever they did (of course, she was three years old, so her taste was still slightly undeveloped).

But there's always something not too bad, in every era. I heard a Phil Collins song once that was all right.

But the evolution of one's musical tastes is the reason older people listen to jazz and classical music, right? I mean, I'm still listening to the Beatles, and Bob Dylan, but the Herman's Hermits records aren't on the turntable much.

1:27 am  
Blogger Will said...

When you say 'big pile of coke', I take it you mean a large stack of the solid carbonaceous material derived from coal, which would be used to set fire to the hair of Girls Aloud (except the ginger one)?

2:21 pm  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

shit's the new great as bad has been good for ages.

wish my dad had snorted. He might have given me some.

9:34 pm  
Anonymous andrew said...

Of course it could be the Drink.
I think you need some encouragement. So well done - your son (don't like the 'favourite' bit but that's probably cos I missed the joke - is it just the one?) probably didn't wake up either since being a damn nuisance doesn't require conscious intent, whether young or old.

2:18 am  
Blogger mr_glide said...

I'd half a mind to send you to Private Eye's 'Neophiliacs' column, but it's an excellent post as usual, so you've neatly sidestepped that ignominious fate.

10:20 am  
Blogger Pickled Olives said...

Yes, but it always has been.

3:13 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Amphimancer: Welcome back.

Will: Don't tell me you Wouldn't.

Dinners: I don't REALLY partake.

Andrew: What? And yes, the joke is I only have one of each. Not a very funny joke I admit.

M_G: My thanks.

3:15 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

P.O: Ah. That's OK then.

3:15 pm  
Anonymous Delboys Daughter said...

When I was up night in and night out with my first born I had a horrific 'i'm a bad parent' episode.
I used to do all the feeding at night, and once when she was about a month old (so over four weeks of no sleeping remember. Only me. No breaks. Get it?) anyway... i fell asleep while she was feeding from the bottle and dropped her off the bed.
Not my finest hour.
She still uses it to this day to manipulate heh.

3:56 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

I have urinated on my son's head. I think I win.

4:07 pm  
Anonymous andrew said...

I have a favourite younger daughter, a favourite older daughter and, of course, a favourite (only) son. Total offspring - three.
The joke probably goes back to the time when men (poor deluded fools, us) first thought we knew our fathers.
Women, of course, always knew better, and so created the world's best kept secret.

12:50 am  
Blogger me said...

i frequently hand out calpol with my eyes tight shut. is that bad?

not a bad as peeing on FS's head. How...?

Andrew - what IS our best kept secret?

3:18 pm  
Blogger mad muthas said...

you must be very v e r y tired. indeed. there's no other explanation for phil collins.

7:26 pm  
Blogger Lee said...

She's Got Perfect Skin.

9:10 pm  
Blogger polaroidprincess said...

I agree on the gignger girls aloud front. I secretly wish they'd replace her with me. As for the being shit, maybe you're actually great and solved everything without even waking up?? And shit has always been the new good. Good is sooooo 1990's.

10:24 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:51 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

me: I don't think so. And what you said about Andrew's comment. Oh, and search the archives for Taking the Piss. I can't be bothered to link.

MM: I know. I know.

Lee: But Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken?

PP: I like to think you're right.

Anon: Good one.

3:55 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Come on people. Where is the anonymous comment saying that if Shit really is the new Good, then my blog must be fucking superb.

Someone's taken their eye off the ball.

3:57 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if Shit really is the new Good, then your blog must be fucking superb.

5:45 pm  
Blogger me said...

sorry - i'm new here, haven't caught up with the reading list

10:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great blog very informative re car insurance tesco. In a simliar vain to car insurance tesco would definitely recommend for **cheap car insurance** or **cheap home insurance**, even **cheap pet insurance**

5:05 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Anon: Genius.

Me:I shouldn't worry. You're not missing much.

Anon 2: Fuck. Right. Off.

2:09 pm  
Blogger me said...

acually, i found it very funny

and, amazingly, found mr cheap anon insurance is still around... 6 months later! can't he take a hint? shoo shoo

2:30 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

me: Thanks. And no, he doesn't seem to get it.

2:41 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seeing these kind of posts reminds me of just how technology truly is something we cannot live without in this day and age, and I can say with 99% certainty that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.

I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as memory gets less expensive, the possibility of uploading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could experience in my lifetime.

(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=]r4i ds[/url] DS FFV2)

9:11 pm  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Go to newer posts