Conversations With My Mother Vs. Conversations With My Daughter.
Mother:[41 years of age] Can you help with this blue tongue thing?
Me: [Suddenly feeling about a trillion years old] What?
Mother: It’s just. I want the pictures off my phone and on to my laptop. But the blue tongue thing doesn’t like it.
I stop grinding my teeth and stare at the wall for a while. I think of happier times.
Me: Blue tongue?
Mother: I thought you knew about this stuff.
Me: I’m not a vet.
Mother: What?
Me: It’s ‘blue tooth’.
Mother: Well I’m not an effing dentist so there’s no need to be sarcy.
Me: I’m going for a cigarette.
Some time later.
Favourite Daughter:[Five years of age] Have you had your hair cut Daddy?
Me: Yes sweetheart.
FD: Why?
Me: Because it looked stupid.
FD: It looks even stupider now.
Pause.
Me: ‘More stupid’. Not ‘Stupider’.
FD: Oh. Ok. Your hair looks more stupid now Daddy.
Me: That’s better.
You decide.
Me: [Suddenly feeling about a trillion years old] What?
Mother: It’s just. I want the pictures off my phone and on to my laptop. But the blue tongue thing doesn’t like it.
I stop grinding my teeth and stare at the wall for a while. I think of happier times.
Me: Blue tongue?
Mother: I thought you knew about this stuff.
Me: I’m not a vet.
Mother: What?
Me: It’s ‘blue tooth’.
Mother: Well I’m not an effing dentist so there’s no need to be sarcy.
Me: I’m going for a cigarette.
Some time later.
Favourite Daughter:[Five years of age] Have you had your hair cut Daddy?
Me: Yes sweetheart.
FD: Why?
Me: Because it looked stupid.
FD: It looks even stupider now.
Pause.
Me: ‘More stupid’. Not ‘Stupider’.
FD: Oh. Ok. Your hair looks more stupid now Daddy.
Me: That’s better.
You decide.
posted by Tired Dad at
11:10 pm
16 Comments:
Maybe you should have just shaved your daughters hair, then danced around shouting "Yeah who looks more stupider now, huh? YOU DO! You're the stupidest!"
Or maybe you could have cut out your mothers tongue for swearing and followed it up with an amusing pun such as, "Whoops I cut your tooth out you stupid bitch!".
But then that would just be sick. And not even funny. Daughter wins.
Good job your mum doesn't listen to her favourite radio prog via codcast...
It's a shame really as the government really does need a hand with the actual blue tongue thing. Is your Mum really only 41?
Are you 13 or something?
What Rachel asked! Jeeze Louise, you must be a child!
You're a trillion years old, FD is five and mum is 41...hmmm...
You are Doctor Who and I claim my five pounds.
*Gasp* Your mum is only 41!
Loved the conversation with FD, very funny :0)
Aargh. Ok. I'm not too good with the numbers.
She's 51.
Alright?
Caz wanted Jax to transfer a pic of a cat to her phone. She said "Can you do it with that blue tit thing?" - I kid you not.
A number 1? A mohawk? - not a pony tail pleeeease
Think you are stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea on that one......
heehee
I just had a not dissimilar experience with my 3 yo singing 'mummy's funny hat, mummy's funny hat' (to the tune of 'twinkle twinkle') all the way home. They don't spare your feelings.
your mom is only 51??
jesus ..
I feel very very old
I'm going to start calling it blue tongue.
I like the sound.
raspberry kool-aide popsicles will give you a blue tongue.
I like that better than "tooth" too. I'd far rather have a tongue in my ear than a tooth...
So come on then, was she a child bride your mother?
just wondering like...
OH - JUST TELL US YOUR AGE DAMN IT!
John: Get some rest.
Brennig: Get your own show.
Dinners: Erm?
Rach: I like the icon-thing.
Me: They're the best. I'm never left in any doubt as to whether or not it's time to trim my nasal hair either.
C: You don't look it.
Jali: It is quite cool isn't it?
Sew: Ok then.
Frenchie: Welcome back.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home