The Best Bloody Marys in the World
Were mixed by the proprietor of our favourite Chinese restaurant.
We would be seated instantly. Have several waiters make a fuss over us but in a not-too-fussy way. The food was always ALWAYS excellent.
This is not a small thing. I can cook. Quite well in fact. My ratio of quality regarding meals I have eaten out compared with meals I have eaten at home cooked by my own fair hand is not a good one.
Suffice to say, I usually come out on top.
I’m not a snob this way. I love a McDonalds. (Sorry). I do not believe there is a meal in the world that cannot be improved by putting a fried egg on top of it. A fish supper of a Friday does not bother me (has to be Friday mind. Old Catholic hang-up. Have they abolished the meat on Friday thing? I lose track)
It’s just. You know. The menu says ‘Penne pasta with a rich tomato and basil sauce generously topped with Parmesan.’
That is not a difficult meal.
You are presented with some re-heated pasta (one of the many things on God’s earth that cannot be reheated) topped with some Ragu (the bottle sauce and not the Italian recipe) with a liberal shaking of that stuff that comes in white pots that smells of vomit that they have long since given up even calling Parmesan any more.
You feel a bit let down. A bit.
This place though. Excellent service. Top notch food. I can cook a Chinese meal if pressed. On one occasion dining partner actually said ‘How do you make it so Chinese?’.
I am happy eating here. We sit down.
Owner/Manager type who always deals with us, settles us in and asks about everyone we know (don’t ask me how he knew) then says ‘Anything to drink?’
I order a Bloody Mary.
No. He says.
What?
I am RUBBISH at making them, and would rather not upset.
NOW THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST BLOODY MARYS YOU WILL NEVER DRINK.
I would have that answer a million times instead of a shit drink. I would have a McDonalds anytime over a menu that promised something the chef could not deliver.
One wonders why fast-food and carbonated piss-water dominates.
Because they do what they say.
Shit.
Grumpy old man.
We would be seated instantly. Have several waiters make a fuss over us but in a not-too-fussy way. The food was always ALWAYS excellent.
This is not a small thing. I can cook. Quite well in fact. My ratio of quality regarding meals I have eaten out compared with meals I have eaten at home cooked by my own fair hand is not a good one.
Suffice to say, I usually come out on top.
I’m not a snob this way. I love a McDonalds. (Sorry). I do not believe there is a meal in the world that cannot be improved by putting a fried egg on top of it. A fish supper of a Friday does not bother me (has to be Friday mind. Old Catholic hang-up. Have they abolished the meat on Friday thing? I lose track)
It’s just. You know. The menu says ‘Penne pasta with a rich tomato and basil sauce generously topped with Parmesan.’
That is not a difficult meal.
You are presented with some re-heated pasta (one of the many things on God’s earth that cannot be reheated) topped with some Ragu (the bottle sauce and not the Italian recipe) with a liberal shaking of that stuff that comes in white pots that smells of vomit that they have long since given up even calling Parmesan any more.
You feel a bit let down. A bit.
This place though. Excellent service. Top notch food. I can cook a Chinese meal if pressed. On one occasion dining partner actually said ‘How do you make it so Chinese?’.
I am happy eating here. We sit down.
Owner/Manager type who always deals with us, settles us in and asks about everyone we know (don’t ask me how he knew) then says ‘Anything to drink?’
I order a Bloody Mary.
No. He says.
What?
I am RUBBISH at making them, and would rather not upset.
NOW THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST BLOODY MARYS YOU WILL NEVER DRINK.
I would have that answer a million times instead of a shit drink. I would have a McDonalds anytime over a menu that promised something the chef could not deliver.
One wonders why fast-food and carbonated piss-water dominates.
Because they do what they say.
Shit.
Grumpy old man.
7 Comments:
Honesty really does work to our general benefit, doesn't it, TD?
You'll go back, you'll reccommend your friends go there, and I'll bet you bought a similarly priced drink and then possibly a second, none of which you would have done if he'd given you what you initially wanted.
I wish I could do that to similar effect in my new job.
Boss: Can you do some MORE data entry please, Sabrina?
Sabrina: No. I'm crap at it, and will quite likely inadvertently lose some valuable information in the process, and am much better placed to do something a little more creative. THAT I can do.
Boss: Thanks for your honesty S. How about an essay on Modernist poetry instead then?
Sabrina: Sure thing, boss!
....come to think of it, the rule may not always apply.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Magic! Good on yer china! A rare breed of man indeed.
The mark of a man, knowing his own limitations and all that. Nice one.
You awake yet TD?
knock knock.....
alltogether now...
"Don't leave me this way..."etc etc
(I'm good at harrassing people)
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