Top Ten Appalling Blog Cliches
1. Sitemeter. Wow. I just checked my stats and some people have typed really weird things into Google and have come here. Really? Honestly? Goodness. Is the world a big place with some odd people in it? Amazing.
2. Public transport1. Those kids (I am in my twenties) with their mp3 players. Faintly annoying background noise. Really? Tell us more.
3. Public transport2. Never mind that. What about the kids (I am in my thrirties) who play their mp3s through the ‘speaker’ function of their mobile phones. Grr. That is astonishingly interesting.
4. Blog posts about the nature of blogging. Could your head be any further up your arse? Could it?
5. People at work. They’re a bit funny and that. Goodness. Have you just watched your DVD of The Office?
6. BBC Radio Nowhere has mentioned your blog. Here is 2000 words on the subject. Honestly. Could it be any further?
7. Links to funny things. Thanks for that. And glad to see that you are funny also.
8. Photos of skylines. Very interesting. Why not write a post titled ‘I Have a Digital Camera And Am About To Spunk-Up with Excitement’?
9. Taking a sabbatical for personal shit. What are you? Some sort of fucking baby? Oh boo-fucking-hoo. And post about it as well. Write your blog or don’t write it. Don’t wank on about whether-or-not you’re going to write it so you can then tug yourself off to all the ladies who offer emails of concern.
10. Top ten lists of Appalling Blog Cliches.
With apologies to the rather excellent DatingMonkey (or whatever she calls herself this week. Having two blogs is so 2005) who pointed-out to me some time ago when I discussed this post with her (YES! I actually correspond with people that are quite good at writing!) that publishing such a list would be an Appalling Cliché in itself.
Ahh. But do you see what I’ve done?
I’ve actually included it in the list itself. Hence, via the power of being-an-unbearable-smart-arse, have cancelled-out all the negative aspects of such an enterprise.
Haha. It’s ace being clever. I can explain Post-Structuralism to you if you like.
Oh. Hang on. It’s still a list isn’t it? Lists are shit. And rather clichéd. Shit. Shit.
I score a 7/10.