Saturday, January 23, 2010

Lost Post # 3: Document Created 10th December 2006, 03.20am.

Rash Decisions.

I suddenly realise that I have been praying for a road accident. Probably involving fatalities.

I am on a bus. On my way to work.

Work that I do not enjoy. And as I have sagely informed my younger siblings:

‘You’re not meant to enjoy it. That’s why it’s called work.’

Wise words. I get off my bus and head toward the other bus stop that will provide me with safe passage to the glamorous trading estate that is home to my office. That I do not want to go to.

I have under my arm a folder thick with Important Work Documents.

I have been praying for people to die, purely so I do not have to go to my place of employ.

I think about my nineteen-month old Favourite Son. Except I don’t. I’m standing in the wind (and we get proper wind here) and the rain thinking about the feel of his skin. The smell of his hair. The feel of his toes. His stupid toothy grin when he finds something new in the world. Which is probably every day. The look of ABSOLUTE delight .

I look about me. There is a queue for my bus to hell.

They do not look happy. Suits. Raincoats. Ladies with umbrellas who know their hair is FUCKED before they even get there.

Miserable.

Something clicks in my head.

I toss the folder in the nearest bin. And go into the nearest coffee house. And order something quite pleasant. And watch. People. Who are in a hurry. Who are shitty and rude. I drink my coffee.

I read the paper, enjoy my stupidly named coffee and then get the next bus home.

I get home.

Tired Mam: I knew.

She is smiling.

Favourite Son: Daddy home.

It’s the first time he has put two words together. I roll on the carpet with him. He does not often see me at this hour of the day. He is giggling like a twat. As am I.

It will be a frugal Christmas.

32 Comments:

Blogger Tired Dad said...

Probably unpublished as one does not like to boast about being thoroughly irresponsible and throwing-away the ability to provide for your own family.

And because it sort-of pretends that the relationship between his mother and me wasn't dead in the water and about to get worse.

10:51 pm  
Anonymous Benj said...

Then boast about your sons toothy grin being amazing enough to turn you around and bring you home. That's worth boasting about.

10:55 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Thanks.

11:13 pm  
Anonymous Em said...

I like that you posted this at 3.20am. Proves you really must be tired.

And i like that your son can turn your day around.

1:16 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Em: Thanks. 'Tired'? I was then - I had a tiresome sleep disorder that sometimes still rears it's boring head.

And of course he can. He's my son.

2:05 am  
Blogger Pueblo girl said...

Actually, I wish more people would do this, and then "work" might be forced to change and become more human.

1:11 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember this. I think I was eating cold pie and I thought, 'he's gonna walk in any minute and think I'm disgusting eating cold pie for breakfast'. Weird.

6:40 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

PB: Not sure if it'd work but a nice idea.

Anon: Not as weird as this.

9:44 pm  
Blogger Ellie said...

You? You ... giggle?

9:58 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Only in the company of my children, don't worry.

10:11 pm  
Blogger Four Dinners said...

Frugal maybe.

Beautiful for sure - well...for your son.

12:53 am  
Blogger Four Dinners said...

Allright. Enough.

Look.

I have no idea who you are. I have enjoyed reading your stuff for yonks.

You have a cracking dry sense of humour and you can write really well (in my opinion...which may not mean much)

Life can indeed be a bastard.

Live it old bean. It's the only one you've got.

I'm sure I'm totally wrong here but I'm feeling slightly worried about you.

Sniff the coffee and get on with it.

Only one chance mate.

Make a go of it eh?

You owe that to your kids.

(And I know I'm out of order saying that)...soz...but I did

4D

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Anonymous Meg McG said...

Your boy is going to enjoy reading this someday.

1:50 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Dinners: You're quite entitled to say whatever you feel like. Not sure what you're driving at but feel free to email.

Anon: Awesome. I'm going to be rich.

Meg: Hello. Perhaps. And thanks.

7:52 pm  
Anonymous Benj said...

Has anyone asked you to stop posting thses old ones yet? Not that I am, I just wondered.

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Blogger Sewmouse said...

I'm commenting on all 3 at once because I've been away from the computer for a while because of things that aren't worth mentioning - but...

DON"T STOP.

I can relate to so much in these posts - whether it's the intended meaning, or something I see only because I'm "me".

3:17 pm  
Blogger Carnalis said...

Christmas presents are WAY over-rated.

Please don't stop.

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C: Thank you. But I've decided that revisiting the past is not terribly healthy. At least not right now. But I'm sure the rest will see the light of day at some stage.

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