Mood Swings #1
I’m at work, there’s nothing I can do about it and I'm feeling generally ok-ish as I walk through the departments in my building, passing the affable Creative-Types on my way.
I approach the desk of the allegedly-attractive feature writer I need to speak to. Personally, I'm not that worried about her.
Me: Uh hi. So look, I’m going to need, like, a thousand words or so, general festive nonsense. You know the drill, just some filler, Christmas party tips, that sort of thing…
Allegedly-Attractive Feature Writer: ‘Inappropriately snogging work colleagues and how to deal with it’, that sort of thing?
Me: Hm. Yeah. Although no chance of that here - [gesture at the ceiling above her desk] total lack of mistletoe and that.
Bit of observational humour there, in case you missed it. I’m funny, me.
AAFW: [Deadpan, not even glancing at me] It wasn’t an offer.
Me: No, I didn’t… I mean, it wasn’t…[sigh] Right. Thanks then. Deadline’s Thursday.
Brilliant.
I make my way back to my office, past the dreadful Creative-Types with their jeans, stubble and general air of being above it all - as though being able to operate an Apple Mac and owning a Vampire Weekend CD really means they’ve got the world by the balls the hopeless cretins – and return to my desk.
Blonde Colleague: Alright. Oh. Did you speak to editorial about that thing?
Me: Oh fuck off.
I approach the desk of the allegedly-attractive feature writer I need to speak to. Personally, I'm not that worried about her.
Me: Uh hi. So look, I’m going to need, like, a thousand words or so, general festive nonsense. You know the drill, just some filler, Christmas party tips, that sort of thing…
Allegedly-Attractive Feature Writer: ‘Inappropriately snogging work colleagues and how to deal with it’, that sort of thing?
Me: Hm. Yeah. Although no chance of that here - [gesture at the ceiling above her desk] total lack of mistletoe and that.
Bit of observational humour there, in case you missed it. I’m funny, me.
AAFW: [Deadpan, not even glancing at me] It wasn’t an offer.
Me: No, I didn’t… I mean, it wasn’t…[sigh] Right. Thanks then. Deadline’s Thursday.
Brilliant.
I make my way back to my office, past the dreadful Creative-Types with their jeans, stubble and general air of being above it all - as though being able to operate an Apple Mac and owning a Vampire Weekend CD really means they’ve got the world by the balls the hopeless cretins – and return to my desk.
Blonde Colleague: Alright. Oh. Did you speak to editorial about that thing?
Me: Oh fuck off.
posted by Tired Dad at
6:18 pm
20 Comments:
Surely Vampire Weekend are getting passée in these circles by now?
It's probably more an indication of how un-hip I am these days tbh.
Unhip is the new hip, but vampire weekend defo passee. I'm not hip enough to find the accent egout.
Ellie: EXPLAIN.
Sounds like your mood swing may have been triggered by the throwaway rejection of you by AAFW.
Got a thing for her have you?
You poor soul.
Hope you feel better by Christmas.
Think how much you'll look forward to telling Santa to fuck off.
Love this.
I used to be a so called creative but I didn't use an Apple Mac nor have a startling bright white office though I generally wore black all day. The cretin-ves (ummm you know) looked down on me and secretly knew that I was just a fraud and would often zap me with their mood-diminishing powers. I got my back by changing all their design enhancements so we could get a product out in time. To geeky devs, I was a paragon on good sense. I fear both you and I are left embittered by our interaction with said creatives.
p.s. I wonder if you had inappropriately snogged her and forgotten and that she was bitterly trying to remind you? How drunk were you exactly at the last office party?
Oh, poor old Blondie! I trust your answer to her was expanded later?
TSB: That was sort-of the point. And no.
Frances: Thank you.
Plummy: Oh, they're just tiresome. And no, I didn't. I don't think.
loob: Oh God, no. She's more than used to my mercurial moods and would also think me a 'bender' if I ever explained myself.
I think the way forward here is just to explain the joke again next time you see her. And again, if she still doesn't get it. That'll do it.
Em: Yes. That will DEFINITELY make everything ok.
I do not own a Vampire Weekend CD (wot no iTunes?) but I do have a Mac and an AC/DC gold disc. Does that make me a cretin?
p.s. phew, it's ok, no stubble, well at least not since I went for electrolysis.
No, I think you're fine. And - HELLO!
Is it wrong to laugh at your misfortunes?
Hugs,
Ann Anon
Ann: It's allowed for posts like this.
Sorry - but I was snickering away there too :-)
Did you get the copy, in the end? And WHAT are you going to do at the office party when there WILL be mistletoe? I say Go For It.
Ali x
Ali: Yeah, laugh it up. And yes I did. 'Office party'? Those days are long gone...
The words "office party" just make me shudder...I hear in times of yore those sorts of things were actually fun and people drank much and behaved badly and everyone had a good laugh at their expense. But all I've experienced are dreadfully dull and teeth-cracking awkward "staff parties"...at our boss's house. S/he doesn't really want us there (us lowly worker bees and all) and we don't want to be there. *le sigh*
AAFW sounds humorless and unfun...she doesn't deserve your wit ;)
K: I doubt they're ever really brilliant (I avoid them myself) but that sounds worse than death. As for AAFW - I don't know her well enough to say, and I'm only ever 'witty' in retrospect. But thanks.
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