I used to think that this only applied to my personal life, but it seems that it has extended itself to the workplace also. I do not know if this is good or bad. However, it does mean that I spend much of my working day speaking to the sort of people who occupy themselves of an evening by howling at the moon whilst masturbating over photographs of wellington boots. Or something.
With one exception.
I have been out of the office for a few days, and in my absense the following telephone conversation takes place:
Blonde Colleague [answering telephone]: Good afternoon, you're through to the Department.
Insane Client: Oh. Oh. Hello. Um. Could I speak to Tired please? I normally deal with him.
Insane Client has long been the bane of my life, and when not being irretrievably difficult, slamming the phone down for no good reason, informing me that alien visitors to our planet show no respect for God (a genuinely true conversation) and sagely informing me that we are, in fact, 'not robots' (yes, she did mean it in a literal sense) probably fills her days making papier mache cats to keep her imaginary ones company.
BC: I'm sorry, he's on holiday at the moment. Can I help?
IC: I'm sure you can. It's just .... how long has he been away?
BC: Oh, just a couple of days.
IC: Right. Right. Well. Anyway, could you .... do you know where he's gone?
BC: He didn't say. How can I help?
IC: He didn't? It's just .... well, there's been a couple of murders.
IC: In the papers. Did you not read? Not too far from here.
IC: I'm just saying. You have to admit it's a bit odd. Him being off work at the same time.
IC: I'm not accusing him of anything, it's just ...... well, it seems strange is all.
BC: Ok then. Anyway, what can I-
IC: Actually is it alright if I just deal with you now? Like I say, I'm sure he had nothing to do with it, but .....
To this day the client in question has refused to speak to me. Her and the woman who won't deal with me because she doesn't think I'm suitably sympathetic when she tells me in detail about her hormone-replacement therapy makes two, now I think about it. The only thing I now have left to do is to push the sanity envelope of the rest of them and then I shan't have to speak to anyone at all.