Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Build A Bridge ...

I’m at a cash point, trying not to worry about things too much.

Withdrawing a sensibly small amount of money, I notice a familiar face as I walk away. I’m feeling unusually garrulous, so say hello.

Familiar Face: Oh hi. God. How are you?

Me: Good. You?

FF: Oh you know. Where you working now?

Familiar Face and I worked together four years ago and were pretty friendly until he got all huffy about the fact that his girlfriend 'Curvy Girl' –who worked in the same place- thought I was quite amusing and would hang out with me from time to time for just that reason. Like I say, it was four years ago and I haven’t seen he or she since.

I tell him where I’m working.

FF: Really? I’m bored shitless where I am. I’ve been trying to get in at your place for ages. Any chance of putting a good word in?

I suppose-

FF: I’m living with Curvy now. WE LIVE TOGETHER.

Me: [pause] …Ok. I’ll have a word with my boss, I know she’s, erm …. Yeah she’s looking for people … ah, now as it happens.

We exchange numbers.

It was four fucking years ago and she just laughed at my stupid jokes for fucks sake.

I never hear from him again, presumably so as to minimise any possibility of his girlfriend having humour-fuelled sex with me.

What. A. Cock.


Anonymous Em said...

Mmmm, a very little one too probably.

What a shame if 'something' were to happen to him...

10:16 pm  
Anonymous Johnners said...

Massive ego stroke though, no?
(Even if she is the kind of person who has chosen the little cock-ed one with whom to live.)

10:41 pm  
Blogger Ellie said...

That's why my husband doesn't let me ready your blog anymore.

10:51 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Em: He could be hung like a donkey for all I know.

John: Well, not really. 'Insecure man doesn't like other blokes making girlfriend laugh.' Doesn't really do much for me to be honest.

Ellie: I don't believe that for a moment.

8:15 pm  
Anonymous Johnners said...

You are obviously much more grown up than me, darn it.

8:25 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I have my mojo back - woop!

8:17 am  
Anonymous looby said...

The thing with people like that is that they don't realise they're actually making themselves look worse. Catching the girl isn't the point. He's still as jealous as you always were, and it obviously still bothers him.

Now stop looking at my fucking bird.

10:40 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

John: I'm not grown-up, just dead inside.

Anon: Good for you.

Looby: Wecome back. 'He's still as jealous as you always were' - Eh?

7:26 pm  
Anonymous Dave said...

I am gay!

11:45 am  
Anonymous looby said...

Oops - I meant "He's still as jealous as he always was".

2:29 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Looby: Ah. Yes.

7:17 pm  
Blogger Alison Cross said...

*I* find men who can make me laugh attractive. Not saying that she did find you attractive, just saying.....

Ali x

11:21 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Reminds me of the time Mick Jagger referred to his wrinkles as 'laughter lines' to which some wag replied 'nothing's THAT funny.'

Trust me, I'm not THAT funny.

8:02 pm  
Blogger Four Dinners said...

Well you could always take Dave for a beer...just don't ask him in for a coffee and definitely don't make him laugh.

10:46 pm  

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