Build A Bridge ...
Withdrawing a sensibly small amount of money, I notice a familiar face as I walk away. I’m feeling unusually garrulous, so say hello.
Familiar Face: Oh hi. God. How are you?
Me: Good. You?
FF: Oh you know. Where you working now?
Familiar Face and I worked together four years ago and were pretty friendly until he got all huffy about the fact that his girlfriend 'Curvy Girl' –who worked in the same place- thought I was quite amusing and would hang out with me from time to time for just that reason. Like I say, it was four years ago and I haven’t seen he or she since.
I tell him where I’m working.
FF: Really? I’m bored shitless where I am. I’ve been trying to get in at your place for ages. Any chance of putting a good word in?
Me: I suppose-
FF: I’m living with Curvy now. WE LIVE TOGETHER.
Me: [pause] …Ok. I’ll have a word with my boss, I know she’s, erm …. Yeah she’s looking for people … ah, now as it happens.
We exchange numbers.
It was four fucking years ago and she just laughed at my stupid jokes for fucks sake.
I never hear from him again, presumably so as to minimise any possibility of his girlfriend having humour-fuelled sex with me.
What. A. Cock.