Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Year And a Half Ago.

I am walking down a street in the city that I have a peculiar love-hate relationship with.

To be fair, since I moved out and now just visit it's been more love than anything.

I am having a disagreement with my six-year-old daughter. I forget what it was now, but it has incurred her displeasure.

Favourite Daughter: I’m going to tell Mummy on you.

Me: Go on then. I don’t mind.

FD: [Upping her game] I’ll tell Mrs. Teacher on you.

Me: Do it. She’s not MY teacher. I don’t care.

I’m faintly surprised that she feels that her teacher is a larger threat to me than her mother but whatever.

FD: Right. I’m going to tell Mr. Headmaster on you.

Me: Fill your boots. I couldn’t care less.

I can sense her frustration and anger building.

FD: I’m going to tell the Person In Charge Of The Whole World on you!

Theoretically she would have me with this one. Who am I against the Person In Charge Of The Whole World? No-one.

Fortunately for me, she has no idea what she’s banging on about. I’ve won this one.

Me: Oh yes? And who is that?

FD: [Steely eyed. She’s not backing-down any more than I am. She’s on the ropes and she knows it] GEORGE STEPHENSON!

Me: ……


I genuinely don’t know what to say.

Alright, he invented the first miner’s lamps and the fucking steam engine and all sorts of other things and he lived round here, but really. HE’S NOT IN CHARGE OF………

Favourite Daughter sees me struggle for a moment and smiles to herself.

Whatever the disagreement was she knows she’s won.


Blogger Pueblo girl said...

Brilliant! Just for knowing who he was. And you know, she might have a point...

9:16 pm  
Anonymous janeway said...

Well, she's *your* daughter, which should makes this situation (a)not surprising and (b)forgivable.

9:38 pm  
Blogger Ellie said...

Heart warming ... (the thought of you perplexed).

11:05 pm  
Anonymous Em said...

Your daughter is brilliant, obviously, because most daughters are. And you'll find as she gets older that she does, in fact, know absolutely everything. And she'll keep the steely eyes and she'll always be your Favourite Daughter. Thank goodness.

1:52 am  
Blogger punxxi said...

You should have said, "but favorite daughter, he isn't in charge of anything, he's only dead"

5:44 am  
Blogger Alison Cross said...

That would have flumoxed me. Truthfully, if you hadn't explained who he was, I would have been none the wiser.....

Your daughter is genius. All daughters are :-)

Ali x

9:10 am  
Anonymous Dave said...

I am gay!

2:09 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

PB: Perhaps.

janeway: There was nothing to forgive. Your children must always have the ability to astound you. There's something wrong otherwise.

Ellie: Thanks. See above.

Em: I believe and want to continue to believe all of that.

punx: By alarming coincidence we were walking past a rather large monument built in his memory at the time. Purely coincidental - I've walked past it almost two thousand times without clocking what it was. I pointed this out to her. Even at the age of six, you don't have to explain that no-one builds statues to the living.

Ali: You're quite right. But DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS? What sort of schools do they have around there?

9:09 pm  
Blogger Grace said...

Aw. This made me laugh out loud. Keep the morsels coming :-)

12:57 am  

I want Dave to read my blog. He is the best reader ever, AND he is gay.

4:01 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...


Hello Grace and welcome.

NWM: You're welcome to him. Remember Mikey? This cunt makes him look like a genius.

9:12 pm  

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