It was sometime in my late twenties when I realised I was never going to be remarkable in any way. I found it quite dispiriting.
But how wrong I was.
I’m about to return a rental copy of a dvd. And it’s going to be AWESOME.
Being a Saturday night I also select a bottle of wine and head to the cashier. She bags it and takes my money.
Me: Also. I rented this [hand over dvd] about FOUR WEEKS AGO and forgot about it! The fines must be enormous!
Cashier : [deadpan]I’ll check.
Me: It’ll be a record, I guarantee it!
Me: Woah. That makes it the most expensive dvd in history, surely!
Me: What? Come on. That’s got to be a record! I should get a plaque on the wall or something!
Cashier: Nope. [Presses some buttons] £210.50. That’s the one to beat.
Me: [Geniunely deflated] Oh.
Cashier: You’ll not be able to rent another one. Pay it off when you can.
I go back home, resigned to being unremarkable.