Unremarkable.
“This is going to be amazing” I think to myself as I head to the service station across the road.
It was sometime in my late twenties when I realised I was never going to be remarkable in any way. I found it quite dispiriting.
But how wrong I was.
I’m about to return a rental copy of a dvd. And it’s going to be AWESOME.
Being a Saturday night I also select a bottle of wine and head to the cashier. She bags it and takes my money.
Me: Also. I rented this [hand over dvd] about FOUR WEEKS AGO and forgot about it! The fines must be enormous!
Cashier : [deadpan]I’ll check.
Me: It’ll be a record, I guarantee it!
Pause.
Cashier: £97.50.
Me: Woah. That makes it the most expensive dvd in history, surely!
Cashier: Nope.
Me: What? Come on. That’s got to be a record! I should get a plaque on the wall or something!
Cashier: Nope. [Presses some buttons] £210.50. That’s the one to beat.
Me: [Geniunely deflated] Oh.
Cashier: You’ll not be able to rent another one. Pay it off when you can.
I go back home, resigned to being unremarkable.
It was sometime in my late twenties when I realised I was never going to be remarkable in any way. I found it quite dispiriting.
But how wrong I was.
I’m about to return a rental copy of a dvd. And it’s going to be AWESOME.
Being a Saturday night I also select a bottle of wine and head to the cashier. She bags it and takes my money.
Me: Also. I rented this [hand over dvd] about FOUR WEEKS AGO and forgot about it! The fines must be enormous!
Cashier : [deadpan]I’ll check.
Me: It’ll be a record, I guarantee it!
Pause.
Cashier: £97.50.
Me: Woah. That makes it the most expensive dvd in history, surely!
Cashier: Nope.
Me: What? Come on. That’s got to be a record! I should get a plaque on the wall or something!
Cashier: Nope. [Presses some buttons] £210.50. That’s the one to beat.
Me: [Geniunely deflated] Oh.
Cashier: You’ll not be able to rent another one. Pay it off when you can.
I go back home, resigned to being unremarkable.
posted by Tired Dad at
10:37 pm
20 Comments:
You are not unremarkable.
Bloody hell. Assumed only I would be sad enough to be dicking about on the internet at this time on a Saturday night. Oh and thanks.
You're welcome - I love your blog.
You are very kind.
I agree with TutTutRe. I really enjoy reading your writing. I expect you've trawled through a lot of other blogs? If not, I wouldn't bother (a rather sweeping statement I know but I like a bit of uninformed ignorance). I've made lots of remarks about YOUR blog to other people though.
On the other hand, if those fines are so ASTRONOMICAL, and you FORGOT to take it back, that would make you a remarkable dick.
Bongo: Thanks. I am a 'remarkable dick' and it's all true. In my mitigation the weather has been so bad that getting across the street has been a genuine challange. But it did get to the point of "well, it's late now, won't ever be on time, best not to worry" whilst more important debts troubled my mind.
Oh and yes. A few years ago I did the trawling. Found many I hated (see the top of my page) and a few that I would like to meet. And did.
So thanks again.
A few years ago I moved into a sort of village-y place and was about three weeks late on a DVD. When I went to return it, the nice woman behind the counter conspiratorially leant forward and said, "Don't worry, I won't charge you: no one will know..." and I said, "Thanks!" And she said, "After all, you can't afford this on your wages," and I said, "Haha!... .... .... HEY!" To this day I have no idea what job she thought I was doing -- but I wasn't letting on...
They should have at least let you keep it for that price. Here I think they just charge you the price of the video...but maybe not, I haven't rented a movie in years.
What was the title of the film you kept for 4 weeks?
And,
I would expect an internet-savvy blogger like yourself would surely no longer be renting DVDs.;-)
Goodness sakes - get yourself signed up to Love Film and pay £5.49 a month for 3 films ;-)
Delivered to your door and a nice envelope to post them back in.
Ali xxxx
PS - you are not unremarkable :-)
Wendy: Hello. That's exactly why I try and avoid 'village-y' places now. They're weird.
Punx: They should have given me their entire catalogue for that money.
Ellie: Oh it was nothing interesting. And I'm a very impatient man - can't be doing with the download time.
Ali: I can't make that sort of long-term commitment! And thanks.
You are remarkably remarkable.
Hope the film was worth it.
Hello Em. I'm really not. But thanks.
I'd expect a personal performance for £97.
I find you remarkable.
Johnners: Aww. Thanks.
Unremarkable, no.
Remarkably silly, yes.
Didn't your conscience nag at you every day to return the damned thing?
Listen to the little voices next time.
Ignore the voices talking about God, blood and the almost unbearable thirst for revenge.
TSB: "Ignore the voices talking about God, blood and the almost unbearable thirst for revenge."
Now you're worrying me.
"Now you're worrying me."
Did your voices tell you to say that?
No, I'm just concerned that you to able to hear them as well.
Join the club.
Do you get the taste of blood when you see the Royal Family?
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