Sunday, July 25, 2010

Waste Of Space Dies - World Shrugs

My day was disturbed at six this Sunday morning by the news that absolute no-mark and Wetherspoons-botherer Alex 'The Hurricane' Higgins had finally made some space in the world for the other shit-heels in the queue at William Hills before the 'offy' opens.

The passing of the perennially homeless fuck-wit alcoholic father of a random amount of children – he didn’t admit to at least two – will trouble no-one at all although his amazing ability of hitting a ball with a stick will be mourned the world over; he was good at it for at least ten minutes and the globe feels the loss.

It’s about seven now – I’m going to try and get some real sleep before the world erupts with the news that the bloke who needed 45p for his bus home on Friday night was actually a chancer. Christ.

5 Comments:

Anonymous looby said...

A friend of a friend of mine said he was very unpleasant to be around when he was pissed, which was most of the time.

Chuck the telly Dad. I did when me and my ex split up 4 years ago and I can honestly say I've not missed it once.

6:00 pm  
Blogger Ellie said...

You're picking up the news so I don't have to. Thanks.

10:14 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Loob: I did and you're quite right - I didn't miss it in the slightest. Unfortunately for me I now own one again and woke up on the sofa very bedraggled and didn't have the strength to actually turn the bloody thing off. Still quite drunk from the night before when I wrote this somewhat ironically.

Your news that he was a less-than-desireable companion comes as little surprise though.

Ellie: My pleasure. Some Guardian-reading for your pleasure coming up.

7:56 pm  
Blogger Four Dinners said...

I was genuinely surprised. I thought he'd already died.

9:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hopefully someone will speak better of you when they hear of your passing...

5:56 pm  

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