Sunday, May 15, 2011

'Nice' People.

Blonde Colleague and I are out the back of the building we work in, smoking cigarettes and scowling at strangers.

Blonde Colleague: Anyways. Did you go for a drink with that lass then?

Me: Mmm hm.

B.C: You did? God, you tell no-one nothing you. So? Any good?

I shrug and make a face.

B.C: No?

Me: Naaaw.

B.C: It’s like pulling teeth with you. So – why, like? Aside from her obviously being blind or a mental or something if she’s giving you the time of day.

Me: No. It’s just…she was ‘nice’, you know?

B.C: What’s wrong with that? A nice lass wouldn’t do YOU any harm. Level you out a bit.

Me: I just don’t really like ‘nice’ people.

B.C: YOU DON’T LIKE ANYONE! God. You’re going to die alone, do you know that?

Me: Rather that than knock-around with some ‘nice’ girl who’ll end up making me pray FOR an early demise.

B.C: What do you mean anyways? ‘Nice’?

Me: Well. [Begin counting bullet-points on my fingers] 1) She works for a charity and –

B.C: [Screwing her face in disgust at the very idea of ‘altruism’] What sort of fucking charity?

Me: - oh I don’t know, spastic kids or something I’d stopped listening at that point. 2) She’s also a part-time student and –

B.C: [Equally appalled] Fuck! Studying what?

Me: Psychology and child-care.

B.C: Jesus fucking Christ. What’s that going to get her?

Me: Dunno. A free copy of the Guardian and a pair of moccasins when she graduates I’d have thought. And 3) she does volunteer work for her local Girl Guides.

B.C: Fuck off!

Me: I’m not even joking.

B.C: [Flicking her cigarette across the street and not noticing it hit an elderly woman’s wheeled-shopping-basket thing] Fuck me you’re better off out of that.

Me: Tell me about it.

We head back into our office, a place of dreadful raw-nerved competitiveness and awful pressure where we would each fuck the other over without a second’s thought, far, far away from any horrendous ‘nice’ people. We sit down, stinking of cigarette smoke and cynicism and glare at people.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Blogger Cristina said...

u sure?

8:47 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

C: Yes. Actually I am.

8:57 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Makes sense.

9:59 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Z: What does?

10:09 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Your conclusion.

10:19 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

I concur.

10:55 pm  
Anonymous Em said...

But you were nice once, a few posts back.

1:27 am  
Blogger Cristina said...

I think I don't buy it

2:33 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:53 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Em: I was 'observing', not being 'nice'.

C: You think too much.

3:03 am  
Blogger TwistedScottishBastard said...

It must be real fun at your workplace.

Have you considered a less stressfull environment.

Like mine clearance in Cambodia?

4:59 am  
Blogger Nicky said...

Nice people can be very wearing. They expect you to be nice too. Someone of equivalent niceness quotient to oneself is the way to go.

10:15 am  
Anonymous looby said...

I like a bit of acerbic in women too. I always imagine that women like her might be a bit dull in bed.

11:05 am  
Blogger justrestingmyeyes said...

Well! BC sounds nice.

12:25 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

TSB: I actually quite like the stress. I'm weird like that. I get bored easily.

Nicky: Oh God, I hear you. Although the 'equivalent' thing is bloody hard to come by. Plus - I really can't be bothered with it all.

loob: I can't comment.

JRME: What are you getting at? *narrows eyes*

4:11 pm  
Anonymous Johnners said...

Situation back to normal then.

10:15 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

J: Oh yes. I'm actually quite relieved. What does THAT say about me?

10:20 pm  
Anonymous Two sandwiches said...

"Psychology and childcare"

The psychology explains Vaguely Familiar Woman's smooth modus operandi in the earlier post, getting your phone number, life story, and a date in just one shopping trip. But could the childcare have something to do with her attraction to you in the first place. Maybe the nurturing side of VFW is looking for a vulnerable inner child to take care of - and yours is signalling "Help!" without you knowing ....... Isn't that a scary thought? Lucky BC is always at hand with lashings of cigs, scowls, and cynicism.....
We'd miss your excellent writing if you turned away from the dark side.

11:25 pm  
Blogger Carnalis said...

.. volunteer work for her local Girl Guides"

That is not 'nice', that is Weird. I don't let my kids do scouts or whatever. They call each other baboo or Greytooth and go on family camps. Dodgy stuff.

7:58 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

TS: Your picnic rang - it said you think too much.

C: Agreed.

7:48 pm  
Anonymous Two sandwiches said...

She mothered you from the start and you not only let her but also asked her out! There must be something in dark that calls to light and vice versa.

Tell the picnic I'll be there shortly....

10:19 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Two: No idea what you're on about chief. Enjoy the day out...

10:32 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You almost made me snort with amusement. Well, grunt. Almost.

Nice' is a foul word/state.

Nice One TD, I'm off for a schmooak and a good burp.


Ann Anon.

4:26 pm  
Anonymous Kaija said...

I dated a similarly "nice" boy in university once...he and his nice family made me feel like wolf in sheep's clothing when I went to dinner with them. His mum was secretly up in arms that I was leading her Dear Boy into the pit of inquity (i.e., sex). Which I did but it was totally not worth the effort on my part. Neither "nice guys" nor "bad boys" are the's the one who has streaks of both and knows the time and place for which ;)

5:48 pm  
Blogger Ellie said...

You need a little naughty AND nice.

9:19 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Oh. Hello. Sorry. Didn't notice the stragglers.

Anon: 'Nice' = 'urgh'. Agreed.

K: I know. I know.

E: See above.

7:53 pm  
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