Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Not Really a Tale From the Pub

Not really because on this occasion I am not sat on my own, staring intensely at the wall and brooding about things that will never have a happy ending.

I am In The Pub.

More accurately The Pub garden. The sun is shining. I can see the river from where I sit.

Unusually, I am surrounded by people. People I know fairly well. And actually quite like.

This is a strange situation for me. It is the middle of the day.

I have been laughing. Not something normally worthy of comment, but it has been some time. Proper laughing mind. The aching-ribs variety. The totally infectious sort. That continues for far longer than it should purely because of the very fact that several people are uncontrollably laughing for no reason anyone can remember.

Pub garden. River. Woodland very close.

Suddenly a Vauxhall Cavalier screams to a halt. We stare. It is not a place where 'The Sweeney' -style driving is expected.

All three occupants are well muscled, heavily tattooed, are wearing vests, and have expressions that suggest it would not be wise to meet their gaze.

Immediately upon the car stopping, two of the occupants leap out and run into the woods.

We look at each other for a bit.

Less than one minute later, both occupants emerge from the woods. Running. Each holding one handle of a wheel-barrow. As they approach, the driver pops the boot.

We are rather surprised by the sight of a wheelbarrow at this stage.

They reach the car, and from the wheelbarrow begin dragging four rather heavy (judging by the grunting) plastic bags - all of which make an alarming clanking noise - from the wheelbarrow into the boot of the car.

The two gentlemen then leap into the car. None of them says 'Go go go' but they really didn't have to.

A squeal of tyres, gravel and gears and they are gone.

There is a short silence.

I light a cigarette.

Someone scratches their ear.

After a while someone else says:

'That was a bit odd'

There is a general murmur of concurrence.

21 Comments:

Blogger Life, or Something Like It said...

Great blog. I'm visiting from fourdinners. I agree. Abit odd indeed.

12:44 am  
Blogger Pie said...

Um...did anyone check the bags?

3:12 pm  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

It was cake in the bags, wasn't it.

6:15 pm  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Excellent. It sounds like something from The Comic Strip Presents Five Go Mad On Mescalin.

7:54 am  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

They were probably Heathrow baggage handlers

12:42 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Life Guy: Thanks.

Pie: Yeah. We were going to do that.

NWM: Yes. And some fluffy kittens I imagine.

*: It was actually faintly alarming.

Dinners: Missed your telly-not-really-debut the other night. But it seems to have caused quite a stir.

1:36 am  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Oh, goody.

2:08 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:35 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Somebody's up late again.

2:35 am  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Yes, both of us.

2:44 am  
Blogger Mr. Driller said...

I blew the dust off Driller, saw you'd posted about it, came here, looked, it's alright. Well done.

11:12 pm  
Blogger mr_glide said...

I have to wonder, was this bizarre event simple shoehorned into the tale in order to distract us from the fact that you were having quite a good time that evening? You have standards of splenetic anger to keep up, after all.

12:13 pm  
Anonymous On a fucking diet said...

cake in a bag..
sounds lovely

12:37 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Driller: DRILLER! YOU CUNT!

M_G: Bizarre event actually took place, otherwise I would not have troubled anyone with a 'hey, today was alright'-type post which is frankly as interesting as watching Dennis Waterman nod-off.

OAFD: Hi Cyn. I take it it's going well.

10:27 pm  
Blogger Amanda said...

*Stunned*, have no idea what to say ;0) but I like the cake theory!

12:28 am  
Anonymous overnighteditor said...

Wheelbarrow smugglers. Very dangerous.

Like the blog BTW.

12:48 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Amanda: As I say, bit taken aback myself.

Overnight: I forgot to mention. The wheelbarrow obviously being surplus to requirements they actually threw it into the river. And thanks.

9:48 pm  
Anonymous overnighteditor said...

Wheelbarrow murderers. Very dangerous.

11:07 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Overnight: Insomnia. Apparently best to avoid alcohol, cigs, tea and coffee, and to make sure you are all tucked-up in your jim-jams at about 8pm. And to not do anything interesting, stressfull or exciting for a living. Or at all. I suggest if you live in that manner it is NO FUCKING WONDER YOU HAVE NO TROUBLE SLEEPING AS TO ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES YOU ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING DEAD.

Thoughts?

9:00 pm  
Blogger d34dpuppy said...

body snatchers u think?

6:26 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Maybe. Wouldn't really explain the clanking.

8:56 pm  

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