Monday, March 31, 2008

News Flash!

I am no longer funny!

If ever I were. And now may have to stop this silly thing-whatever-it-is.

Those waiting for any elaboration upon the subject of the dreadful ‘J’ may have to wait FOREVER!

Today.

I am At Work.

As I take my job very seriously, I am reading the local newspaper. As are several of my colleagues. There is a news item regarding a very pleasant – by all accounts, and there are lots of them – local man who had tried to prevent some youths from being a terrible nuisance on his street and who had been killed to death for his trouble.

My local paper is filled with such tales.

I read it, and can only think that the sub-editors have let themselves down.

The front-page headline on the subject reads ‘Death of Mr. Nice Guy’.

It could have been better, I think.

How, ask my colleagues. What would be the more effective headline?

Me: ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’.




Absolutely nobody laughs.

Many look horrified.

I quit.

30 Comments:

Blogger Clarissa said...

I would have. And I would have given you a huge hug!

9:21 pm  
Blogger Penelope said...

Bloody brilliant! Write to the silly newspaper people immediately!

9:29 pm  
Blogger Amanda said...

:0) I think you're funny

9:33 pm  
Blogger WyldWoods (WW.N) said...

I'm not sure if I would have laughed or started singing.

However, for everyone's sake, I would hope for the laughter.

9:48 pm  
Blogger Windypops said...

Sir, you are a giant among dwarves.

10:48 pm  
Blogger d34FpUpPy said...

hehehehe u r 2 td

3:55 am  
Blogger Misssy M said...

And you are using your work colleagues as a barometer? These are the people who think it's funny to throw man-gunk in a girl's face and shout "Monkey face"?

12:29 pm  
Blogger angelsarentfree said...

I agree with Windy...you are 9 feet tall, they are all about 2'7".

5:27 pm  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

I laughed out loud.

This may be a worry as I hadn't even read it yet.

I am particularly friendly with a Sicilian at work.

You will continue please.

Thank you.

7:51 pm  
Blogger FOUR DINNERS said...

...also Clarissa wants to hug you and, possibly, things. She may be devastatingly attractive and want your babies.

She may not but it will play on your mind.

Continue.

I have rung the Sicilian and he likes you. For now.

7:52 pm  
Blogger Clarissa said...

I am.

8:54 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

C: If only you'd been there.

P: Welcome! I can't, the damage is done.

A: Aww. Thanks.

W: Welcome also. And I'm sure you have a lovely singing voice.

Windy: You're very kind.

Pups: Eh?

Missy: Ah. Yes. You may have a point.

Angels: You are giving me a big head.

Dinners: Hi. My Corsican mates will own your Sicilian.

Dinners again: Don't be daft. As if.

C: Oh. Is it possible to have sexual tension on a comments-thing of a silly blog? If so we've just invented something.

9:04 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

C: Erm. Just devastatingly attractive or the babies thing too? Just out of interest you understand.

9:06 pm  
Blogger d34FpUpPy said...

uhhhhhhhhhhh , you sir, Tired Dad, are extremelly humourous...bettah now dude?

10:02 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

FUCK ME!

LOOK EVERYONE!

THIS IS ME ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDING THE AMERICAN PUP-GUY!

I get you every time. Hope things are as well as they can be. Why aren't you writing?

10:52 pm  
Anonymous Grax said...

Personally I thought it was a rather genius headline you came up with.

11:31 pm  
Blogger Echomouse said...

I laughed. You're funny. Don't give up. Simon Pegg may call any day now! How cool would that be?

1:41 am  
Blogger Cynnie said...

you're funny enough..
we sad souls need to get our funny on..
so get skippy darlin..

4:11 am  
Anonymous monkeymother said...

You were right. They were wrong. You are funny. They are twats (but we know that anyway).

6:44 am  
Blogger bittersweet said...

I'm still laughing

4:26 pm  
Blogger jIhAd PuNk said...

Tired and Clarissa. A match made in bed.

or the kitchen.

or the bathroom.

or the stairs.

What does 'get skippy' mean?

Clarissa is a Kangeroo?

This may get interesting. Different but interesting.

Be gentle Clarissa. He's a tortured soul.....

8:13 pm  
Blogger Clarissa said...

I am not a Kangaroo.

Dauntingly attractive. No babies, please.

x, c

p.s. Apologies for the tension if it has made anyone uncomfortable.

9:55 pm  
Blogger d34FpUpPy said...

2 many pills make braIN STOP TALKIN 2 ME TD

5:21 am  
Anonymous smallbeds said...

That suggestion you made was absolutely disgusting, and utterly inappropriate.

DO GO ON.

10:48 am  
Anonymous mr_glide said...

Balls to them. Clearly not partial to a good Alice Cooper-led gag.

It made me grin.

11:06 am  
Blogger Mr Farty said...

So it's agreed. You're officially funny.

Now about J?

2:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sychophantic drivel. Tired, Tired.

6:21 pm  
Blogger Ms Baroque said...

I laughed. All my friends would have laughed.

I'm just linking to you on my new Wordpress URL, so you HAVE to keep writing! We are all counting on you.

1:51 pm  
Blogger Mary said...

I wish you posted more often, so I couldn't laugh my ass off more often. You work with stranger people than I do.

3:26 am  
Blogger Cynnie said...

hello?
you have a coronary?

2:55 pm  

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