Saturday, August 14, 2010

Working Week.

As well as handling the advertising for many dick-swinging big-shot blue chip companies, I also deal with people who run their own small businesses and who are – more often than not – barking mad. The former are unbelievably difficult to deal with what with their talk of ‘MPUs’ and ‘skies’ whilst declaring the ‘banner’ to be ‘dead’ – I have no idea what they mean but have people who do - insist upon 'meetings' and keep saying things like “I can get this cheaper with a really rubbish company who won't deliver” as if that were a really valid bargaining strategy.

The latter are much more fun. I believe I’ve mentioned Insane Client before now. I shall call her ‘Carol’ for the moment. I am a fastidious note-maker. The following is – tragically – verbatim from my notes of genuine conversations with her:

Outgoing Telephone Call 06/08/2010 11:24 Comments: Re-book. Briefly considered changing the mobile phone number in her advert AGAIN but decided against.

Outgoing Telephone Call 04/08/2010 11:34 Comments: Carol has again called - wanting to change 'pets allowed' to 'pets welcome'. (?) Done.

Outgoing Telephone 03/08/2010 16:40 Comments: Carol called to change the mobile number in the advert once again. Claimed the old one was 'attracting the wrong sort of people'. Amazing.

Outgoing Telephone Call 30/07/2010 10:52 Comments: Booked for another week, good as gold.

Outgoing Telephone Call 23/07/2010 11:45 Comments: Re-book for next week.

Outgoing Telephone Call 20/07/2010 10:22 Comments: Checking adverts - all is well.

Outgoing Telephone Call 15/07/2010 14:02 Comments: Copy amend and rebook for next week.

Outgoing Telephone Call 09/07/2010 11:18 Comments: Wants a call on Monday - waiting to see if a booking comes in.

Outgoing Telephone Call 05/07/2010 12:30 Comments: Got hold of Carol after she slammed the phone down on Thug Colleague. Changing mobile number in advert once more - this time due to an 'irate holiday maker' smashing her windscreen during the weekend. Booked for the week.

Outgoing Telephone Call 21/06/2010 11:18 Comments: Booked for another week. New mobile number again.

Outgoing Telephone Call 11:50 Comments: Bit hassled, will call me back on Monday morning.

Outgoing Telephone Call 15/06/2010 14:21 Comments: Reassured Carol once again that we are definately getting the payments through and that I will call her to re-book her advertisements.

Outgoing Telephone Call 15/06/2010 14:15 Comments: Carol called to check that she has paid for her adverts on her pre-paid account - money still hasn't gone from the bank apparently. Assured her I would double-check all is well at our end. She seemed happy with this and went to feed her cats.

Outgoing Telephone Call 10/06/2010 16:05 Comments: Carol is puzzled that this weeks’ payment does not seem to have been deducted from her card. Feels that 'someone' is 'playing' with her. Assured me that she wasn't 'accusing' me 'of anything'. Sending her recent statements.

Outgoing Telephone Call 09:41 Comments: Carol phoned to check the status of her advert. Seemed satisfied that it's the same as it was when she called 15 minutes ago.

Outgoing Telephone Call 10/06/2010 09:30 Comments: Carol called in to change her telephone number yet again - claims the entire T-Mobile network is down.

Outgoing Telephone Call 04/06/2010 13:17 Comments: Driving on the A1 - wants a call later.

Outgoing Telephone Call 25/05/2010 09:07 Comments: Carol rang in to change her mobile number in the advert yet again.

Outgoing Telephone Call 21/05/2010 11:00 Comments: Rebook. New mobile number. Again. Much anguish regarding 'the news' and the continuing Alnwick cat poisonings. Genuis.

Outgoing Telephone Call Interested 17/05/2010 11:26 Comments: In the doctors - call her later.

Outgoing Telephone Call 14/05/2010 14:39 Comments: She'll get back to me.

Outgoing Telephone Call 07/05/2010 13:58 Comments: Re-book for week.

Outgoing Telephone Call Interested 29/04/2010 15:02 Comments: Carol has excelled herself with tales of rabid dogs, cat-poisoners and the fact that she's having to change the mobile number in her advert yet again because the old one is attracting 'disableds'. Brilliant. Re-book for the week.

If I worked for a mobile-phone company I would be able to retire by now.


Blogger Alison Cross said...

I can really relate to this!

By heck - you keep good records. Note to self - keep better records of calls with clients.

I try to do everything by e-mail because arguments so often descend into: 'But you SAID it would cost THIS'.

Ali x

11:28 pm  
Blogger amphimacer said...

If I had a mobile number I'd change it right now.

2:12 am  
Anonymous Em said...

Oh.Dear.Lord. Either you have the patience of a saint or you really do work for phone company...

6:58 am  
Blogger Ellie said...

We could have quite a bit of fun if you simply published Carol's number on the Interweb.

1:15 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are the comments still getting sensored? if so then that's no fun at all.

7:55 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

Just read your last several posts. You are better than ever. I should spend more time here.

12:57 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Ali: If I could do EVERYTHING by email I would be happy. And the fastidious note-taking is because she is CRACKERS and will one day accuse me of something absurd and I want decent records.

Amph: It seems to keep her occupied. I can imagine the staff at Carphone Warehouse rubbing their hands with glee each time they see her walk in.

Em: Not patience so much as an appreciation of the surreal.

Ellie: It's really not worth it. Besides, I never really know what the number is from one day to the next.

Anon: 'Fraid so.

Rachel: Oh. It's you. Welcome back. And thanks.

4:57 pm  
Blogger punxxi said...

she is a pure whack-job.those kind of people can be so much fun to deal with, just like the senile patients I used to work with.

3:53 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Punx: The nut-jobs are ALWAYS the most fun.

10:02 pm  
Blogger Sewmouse said...

I hate phone conversations. I loathe having to tell vendors for the 100000000th time that I do not cut checks at THEIR convenience. I loathe talking to customers. I am mostly only friendly to the accounts registers and my coffee cup.

It is probably a very good thing that I never got a job working with the public since I graduated school.

10:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:45 pm  
Anonymous looby said...

Alnick cat poisonings. Tell her you reckon it was Raoul Moat.

11:32 am  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Sew: See above. Increasingly most of my interaction is by email and I would LOVE IT if that became the norm.

Anon: Ok. 'Back atcha' I suppose.

Looby: The Moat stuff stopped being funny as of tonight with that dreadful thing on 4.

Latest from 'Carol':

" I went to the bank and there was a Stanley knife it was like a horror film I wait until the neighbours are out before I get the hedge-strimmer out"

All in one breath before she'd said 'hello'. Brilliant.

9:29 pm  
Anonymous Carlos said...

This comments section has become bland since you started moderating it. fact

9:59 am  
Blogger punxxi said...

i think that bitch, carol has TD on hold...

1:19 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you died?

11:03 am  
Blogger Lil Miss said...

i would very much like to meet this women.
i think she would be great fun on a night out.

10:09 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Carlos: Perhaps. Do say 'hello' to Dave for me - he seems to have the same web-server, IP address, operating system and screen resolution as you. And I'm glad your English is improving.

punx: Nothing so interesting.

Anon: No, but my brain went a bit wonky for a little while and I've not been able to write.

Lil: Hello again. You really wouldn't - she really wouldn't be.

10:22 pm  
Blogger TwistedScottishBastard said...

I came across your blog via Scottish Farter Specialist.

Magic. I didn't know that advertising was such an adventurous and fun place to be.
Keep it up. Hope you're feeling better.

7:43 pm  
Blogger Tired Dad said...

Oh. Hello. Thanks and that.

9:41 pm  

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